(Listen to this homily here.)
This past week I attended our annual clergy conference in
Two Harbors. This is always a fun
time as we priests gather to pray, celebrate Mass, learn and grow in
fellowship.
This
year the theme was the funeral rites.
It was a dead topic. (Just seeing if you’re awake this
morning!) It was nice to review
what I learned in seminary about the noble ways in which we prepare for sending
someone home to the Lord.
My friend and I talked about how we
can teach and/or preach about this important issue. Most people don’t ever experience the rites for a funeral until
a loved one has passed away, yet death is a reality of life and a crucial
moment in the life of the Church.
Providentially, our readings offer
an opportunity to reflect on this topic.
Our first reading is commonly used at funerals. Isaiah prophesies that on God’s
mountain He prepares a feast and wipes away the tears of those who mourn. Our responsorial Psalm—Psalm 23—is also
used frequently. Indeed, God walks
with us through the shadow of death as He sent his son to die for our
sins. In the Gospel, Jesus
compares heaven—the goal of all of our lives—to a wedding feast in heaven.
In light of the clergy conference
and our readings, I would like to share with you this morning our Church’s vision
for the ideal funeral. In so doing
I hope to educate you on the dignity we offer to you and the deceased.
Before this, remember that someone
near death should be anointed. The
Anointing of the Sick provides forgiveness of sins and may be coupled with both
Confession and final Eucharist (Viaticum—food for the journey). What you may not know is that there are
additional prayers we can offer as someone dies. I love the fact that our Church walks with us every moment
of our lives—from the baptism of babies to someone on death’s door.
The way we approach funerals
follows from what Jesus Christ himself experienced. He died, was anointed and buried in a tomb. Our funeral process follows in a similar
vein. Once someone has died, the
funeral should take place soon after the death. Ideally a funeral Mass is offered at the church, though some
circumstances allow for a funeral outside of Mass. The funeral features prayers for the deceased and their
family, celebration of the gift of Christ’s death and resurrection and the
person who has died and moments to remember of your loved one. The rites assume that the body of the
deceased is present. Immediately
following the funeral a burial occurs in order to place your loved one in their
final resting place.
I would like to offer a few points
for consideration about some common questions we get about funerals. Perhaps the most common deal with
cremation. The Church does allow
for cremation, especially after a traumatic death, to prevent the spreading of
an infectious disease, or other extraordinary circumstances. Yet she always prefers the burial of a
body and I personally recommend this from my experience of funerals.
At the very least, please consider
having your loved one’s body present at the funeral. While it is not easy to see the body of the deceased—it can
be scary, awkward or drudge up difficult emotions—it greatly helps to grieve
well and experience closure. In
many cases, it is helpful to see your loved one at peace, especially after a
debilitating illness. Seeing the
casket closed is also a powerful experience (though very difficult, and I know
this from experience) to say goodbye.
While it may be easier to look at an urn, we do not have to be afraid of
death! We come to a funeral full
of hope that Jesus, who died for us, leads the deceased to his kingdom.
If cremation is chosen, remember
that cremains should always be buried.
They should neither be spread nor kept at home. (If this has occurred in your home or
family, please let me know so we can remedy this situation.) Today there are all sorts of crazy
things happening to cremains—you can even make jewelry out of your loved one—yet
we must always uphold the dignity of a body that was the temple of the Holy
Spirit. Every person deserves to
be buried as a sign of respect and honor.
And I have found a burial—whether
of a body or cremains—is actually better for the family. A few years ago my family went to
Holdingford for a family reunion.
While we were there we walked through the cemetery and I was amazed to
see many headstones with my last name—Hadrich—inscribed. I never knew these men and women, but
was afforded an opportunity to remember my relatives and ancestors. Having a particular place to visit
loved ones helps us remember those who have gone before us, and this
opportunity can be had even in later generations.
I offer these reflections, not to
cast judgment on decisions you have made in the past with respect to the death
of a loved one. I share them in
order to show how dignified our funerals and burials are and how they can help
you grieve well and honor your loved one.
We never have to be afraid of
death. We can be full of hope that
God walks with us through tragedy and will wipe our tears away. In the meantime, know you can always
trust in the Church’s process to honor the dead!
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