Sunday, February 15, 2015

Give up gossip for Lent: Parish Bulletin--2-15-15


            As we approach the Lenten season I want to assure you and your families of my prayers.  I pray this season of prayer, fasting and almsgiving will draw you closer to God and neighbor!
            A rich tradition we Catholics share is giving something up for Lent.  This Lent I am challenging our entire parish to give up something together—gossip.
            The very word gossip is one which can have different meanings and I would like to clarify what I mean.  I do not have in mind a blanket “don’t ever talk about others if they are not there.”  Indeed, there are good ways to talk about others—passing on good news, affirming a quality of another, or celebrating the accomplishments of others.  There are even healthy ways to share frustrations about another person’s actions with loved ones provided we focus on a behavior (not a person), leave out their name and try to share good qualities about this person as well. 
What I am encouraging us to give up is the sort of talk behind another person’s back that belittles or detracts from their character.  The key to understanding what is gossip and what is not is to examine our intention.  Am I speaking about another with their best interest in mind or just to attack their character?  Am I sharing this frustration to help process a negative experience, or out of a sense of judgment?  Am I focusing on a behavior or detracting from someone’s character?  Even if something true, is it necessary or kind to share with another?
As I read the Scriptures, texts from the New Testament have a prevalent theme—unity in the Church.  St. Peter, St. Paul and even Jesus consistently proclaim unity.  My intention in this Lenten challenge is to help us take unity at our parishes seriously as well.
Similar to other factions of society, gossip can cause the greatest division(s) in our own parishes—not different desires in the liturgy, not different theological positions, not different priorities, not different approaches to financial decisions and not different perspectives in other areas of parish life.  Gossip, however, eliminates construction conversation, creates mountains out of molehills and stifles, distorts facts and may even attack someone’s character. 
As I have discussed the reality of gossip with others (without using names and addressing behaviors, not persons), a common response I have heard is, “Well, we live in a small town and that’s just the way it is.”  I am not satisfied with this response, and I hope you aren’t either!  We have the opportunity not only to improve our own lives, not only to improve our excellent Church family, but to improve our community itself by making a commitment to avoid gossiping this Lent.
With my challenge comes a gift.  I have purchased (from my personal account) 600 wristbands that simply state: “I will not gossip.”  (Yes, they are purple for Lent!).  We will be passing them out at Masses at St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Columban and I would encourage you each to wear one during Lent.  The wristband itself will be a good reminder of our goal, especially if you switch wrists when you catch yourself gossiping.
Know that I am challenging myself in this endeavor and will be wearing my wristband throughout the Lenten season.  I pray you will join me in following the wise words of Thumper, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all”!
God bless and know of my daily prayers!

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