As we approach the Lenten season I want to assure you and
your families of my prayers. I
pray this season of prayer, fasting and almsgiving will draw you closer to God
and neighbor!
A
rich tradition we Catholics share is giving something up for Lent. This Lent I am challenging our entire
parish to give up something together—gossip.
The
very word gossip is one which can
have different meanings and I would like to clarify what I mean. I do not have in mind a blanket “don’t
ever talk about others if they are not there.” Indeed, there are good ways to talk about others—passing on
good news, affirming a quality of another, or celebrating the accomplishments
of others. There are even healthy
ways to share frustrations about another person’s actions with loved ones
provided we focus on a behavior (not a person), leave out their name and try to
share good qualities about this person as well.
What I am encouraging us to give up
is the sort of talk behind another person’s back that belittles or detracts
from their character. The key to
understanding what is gossip and what is not is to examine our intention. Am I speaking about another with their
best interest in mind or just to attack their character? Am I sharing this frustration to help
process a negative experience, or out of a sense of judgment? Am I focusing on a behavior or
detracting from someone’s character?
Even if something true, is it necessary or kind to share with another?
As I read the Scriptures, texts from
the New Testament have a prevalent theme—unity
in the Church. St. Peter, St.
Paul and even Jesus consistently proclaim unity. My intention in this Lenten challenge is to help us take
unity at our parishes seriously as well.
Similar to other factions of
society, gossip can cause the greatest division(s) in our own parishes—not
different desires in the liturgy, not different theological positions, not
different priorities, not different approaches to financial decisions and not
different perspectives in other areas of parish life. Gossip, however, eliminates construction conversation,
creates mountains out of molehills and stifles, distorts facts and may even
attack someone’s character.
As I have discussed the reality of
gossip with others (without using names and addressing behaviors, not persons),
a common response I have heard is, “Well, we live in a small town and that’s
just the way it is.” I am not
satisfied with this response, and I hope you aren’t either! We have the opportunity not only to improve
our own lives, not only to improve our excellent Church family, but to improve
our community itself by making a commitment to avoid gossiping this Lent.
With my challenge comes a
gift. I have purchased (from my
personal account) 600 wristbands that simply state: “I will not gossip.” (Yes, they are purple for Lent!). We will be passing them out at Masses
at St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Columban and I would encourage you each to wear
one during Lent. The wristband
itself will be a good reminder of our goal, especially if you switch wrists
when you catch yourself gossiping.
Know that I am challenging myself
in this endeavor and will be wearing my wristband throughout the Lenten
season. I pray you will join me in
following the wise words of Thumper, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t
say it at all”!
God bless and know of my daily
prayers!
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