No longer shall the sound of weeping be heard there, or the sound of crying…” (Isaiah 65:19).
As a man and as a priest, I have certainly heard some people that say, “Men don’t cry” or “Man up” in some machoism currents in our society. On the opposite spectrum, I have personally experienced as well as learning, sharing and merely believe tears can be healthy.
I’ll never forget an individual who served as a Marine overseas and was a seminarian at St. John Vianney. As we were conversing by ourselves, he ultimately said, “Always know that Marines cry too.”
And so can men.
The text above was contained in our daily Mass reading (Monday, April 1st during the 4th week in Lent) and is also used in a funeral. As I prepped for my homily that day, I was reminded of how crying can be distinct in two different types: sorrow or joyfulness. One occurs with grieving (ex. the loss of a loved one, depression, divorce, abuse or more), another type with tears with gratitude, as the verse right before, Isaiah spoke: “Instead, there shall always be rejoicing and happiness in what I create; For I create Jerusalem to be a joy and its people to be a delight…”
Today I would like to offer a few thoughts about these two different types of crying or weeping. The first experiences sadness or the moments, days, weeks or more prolonged than directly hurt an experience. Now, is this crying healthy? Yes, and of course! And, sometimes each of us (yes, even men), should take some courage to speak to a loved one friend or counselor to walk through those tough times in life, and do not be afraid of crying.
Then there is a happy and rejoicing type of crying, like the birth of a child, gratitude for experience the presence of God, or only stopped in your tracks with beauty beyond our own lives.
I mention that during Lent because each of us has experienced both types of weeping, and both of them will probably continue throughout our life on earth. Yet at the end of our lives, if we are called to heaven, we will perhaps not experiencing grieving or sadness anymore, only tears of love, compassion, and mercy.
In the book of Revelation, John wrote “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:3-4).
Continue to be courageous during tough times and tears, remembering that Jesus Christ is always walking with you, holding your hand, and knowing that this period will be passed.
God Bless!
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